I've hestiated on writing about Chris Brown and Rhianna, even though it comes up in every Barbershop conversation I've been privy to. So here we go, my two and halfs. Let me start with this though. As a father of two little girls, I have a certain sensitivity to anyone laying hands on either of them. If I found out that anyone, especially a boy she was dating, touched her in any way deemed inappropriate, I can't publish my reactions here.
I've heard many different sides of what happened that night (although nothing is more substanative than the released police report), what started it, how it is transpired, and how this saga will end. As entertaining as all of the gossip blogs are, and sensationalized news reports are, I submit this is about more than two young and rich entertainers. This "love" story is a reflection of our society's view of relationships in general. As our nation has developed, to become a world leader in economy, technology, and everything this else that measures growth and progress, we have increasingly become more cut throat, impersonal, and self-centered. We have adpoted the notion that world revolves around me, my interests, my desires, and my feelings are the only ones that matter. Some critics call this arrogant. Some people are even bold enough to say it, but most of us just act out the principles.
To bring some color to this notion, let's look at the stock market and what drove the American economy into the ground. Sure, the credit markets froze, largely due to the mortgage industry's collapse. And to top all this off, Bernie Madoff made off with an obscene amount of money from unsuspecting investors. Its easy for people to blame the mortgage crisis on homebuyers taking out mortgages they couldn't afford. But the reality is that a borrower can't borrow what a lender won't lend. Lenders were focusing on the short term strategy...increase profits as mich as possible to make stockholders happy in this quarter. The problem is every quarter stockholders expected more profits, and the company had to deliver. This short term mentatlity in business affairs has a direct affect on we think about relationships in general. We are not concerned with the long-term health of the company, just this quarter. Besides, the practice has always been, if the short term strategy doesn't work, and the company begins to not realized profits and can't pay bills, the company with just file bancruptcy, restructure, and start all over...no harm, no foul. Only in real life, there is real harm, and fouls hurt. We as a society have to begin to take seriously the long term health our actions.
To bring my point home, I submit that domestic violence, partially is result of how we think about relationships in general. Our economy is driven by self-indulgence, greed, and arrogance; and so are our personal lives. If a girl and a guy are in a relationship, and the short term needs are not being met, we take no issue with disposing of the realtionship the best way we know how. The problem is we don't know how to dispose of the relationships. I'm not in now way advocating for staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of trying to make it work. What I am advocating for is staying in healthy relationships and trying to make it work. I heard a friend of Chris Brown say to me, "You don't know what really happened. Rhianna is mean, and always pushing his buttons." Well, my response is shame of Chris Brown for being with a woman who he allows to take him to a position of violence. We should be teaching our young men to seek women who will use thier words to build them up, not tear them down. Just like we should be teaching our young women that it is never acceptable to allow a man lay a hand on them. Stevie Wonder proclaims in his hit song "That Girl," "She doesn't use love to make him weak, she uses love to keep him strong." How profound, what if we used love to make each other strong? I think Stevie was on to something.
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